Photo taken by Kaia Bewley
Our bodies betray us. Our minds stay young, but the rest of us continues on the aging roller coaster not even considering slowing down. You don't even realize it until one day there you are looking down that first big drop.

A couple of weeks ago, I was blindsided by pneumonia. In the middle of Summer. Because I'd mentioned to the doctor that, along with the fever, I'd had some back and neck pain, he decided to do an EKG. No big deal. I've had these before. In fact, I've done this like 3 times before. Only once did anyone mention that the results looked a little off, but the cardiologist she referred me to see just told me "it must be your normal".

The current doctor did not agree with that and asked that I have an echocardiogram done. I had that done on Monday. It is simultaneously amazing and terrifying to watch your own heart beat on a little screen in front of you. The valve actually opening and closing right before your eyes. Seeing the blue images turn to red as the blood goes from one side to the other. Not knowing exactly what you are seeing, but some of the images have you curious. Knowing that the person actually doing this can't really tell you what they are seeing because they aren't allowed to do so. Yeah... all that.

So when the doctor called me yesterday afternoon, I had a feeling he had news. He says you have a slight tricuspid valve regurgitation and you immediately store that in your brains filing cabinet to consult Dr. Google with later. Apparently, this is minor at the moment and I needn't worry about it until later in life, he says.


I am a drop-of-the-hat, anxiety riddled worrier who is almost 40 years old. With a family history of heart issues on top of all that. Who has a spare tricuspid valve I can borrow? Or like... just have it in case mine craps out on me.

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