September is not being kind. There is a laundry list of issues. Some I can't talk about because well... they just aren't worth that much of my time and I'm trying to let it go, but one thing has been bothering me for a while and I'd like to focus on that today.
We've always been open to letting our children do their own thing. Crazy hair colors, clothes choices (within reason), musical tastes, etc. I'm aware that raising boys verses raising girls requires separate skill sets. That's become obvious over the years. As my son has gotten older, he's mellowed out and become more level headed. My daughter... *insert huge sigh here*
When she first started middle school two years ago, she was a happy, bubbly girl. In our location, the middle school is where two different elementary schools come together. So she made new friends. Slowly, the older friends weren't friends anymore. As time has gone on, she's become more introverted. Less happy. More "emo". If I never hear another "whate-v-e-r" or see another black t-shirt, it'll be too soon. I've made many suggestions, tried buying clothes for her. To no avail...
Last year, I had teachers, parents, other students warn me that my daughter was "hanging" with the wrong crowd. That these kids were not the best choices for her. I listened, but I didn't act. Oh, I've had the conversation many times about branching out and making new friends, changing up the wardrobe. Nada. I get tuned out.
Now it's come down to this... my husband got a phone call from the assistant principal that lasted for more than 30 minutes and nearly got him in trouble with his boss yesterday. She had her phone taken away because she was using it when she wasn't supposed to be, but then that led to the phone call. Where the AP then tells my husband the same thing we've already heard, get her away from this group of kids.
We sat her down last night and had an at length conversation about how this behavior has steadily gotten worse and now it has become a detriment to her life, her education, her future. Of course, her phone was confiscated since my husband had to go retrieve it from the school, but I did the only thing I could think to do...
I forbid her from associating with these kids anymore.
I know it's not realistic, but I'm completely lost. I told her that I know I can't follow her around school all day or make sure she isn't talking to them, but that I trusted her enough to make the right choices. That this was going to have to be a choice that she makes.
Throughout this whole ordeal I've tried to reassure her that we love her and care about her future. I told her that I was being so hard on her because I do care.
I seriously need for September to move on out and for the planets to align is some other formation because I'm about to stroke out.