Kentucky Kicks Ass

There is a link circulating around my Facebook friends that states 25 signs that you grew up in Kentucky.  I noticed a couple of interesting things while snickering my way through the list and comments.

Kentuckians are proud Kentuckians.  We are also fierce haters of other Kentuckians.  Which is strange to me given our state motto.  United We Stand, Divided We Fall.  Apparently this motto doesn't apply if you are either from Louisville or if you are from the rest of the state.  If you don't get this then it's because you aren't from here and don't watch college basketball.  Bless your heart.

Of these supposed 25 signs, I can relate to only a handful of them.  I have lived in Kentucky all of my 34 (almost 35! Yikes!) years.  Let's review these signs, shall we?
  1. You know every word to "My Old Kentucky Home".  I have no idea what all the words to "My Old Kentucky Home" are.  In fact, I couldn't even tell you the first word.
  2. It's not a shopping cart, it's a buggy.  I have been known to call a shopping cart a buggy before, but I try to avoid it.  The Amish use buggies (with horses), I use a cart.   
  3. Big Blue Madness is the single most exciting night of the year.  Err... nope.  Haven't ever watched it, but I do understand that basketball is a religion.  Which brings us to number four...
  4. Unless you're from Louisville, University of Kentucky basketball is the only sport that matters.  (If you're from Northern Kentucky, there's also the Bengals and Reds.)  It's just a simple fact that you CAN NOT support both teams.  It's not physically possible.
  5. If you see someone wearing camouflage, that doesn't necessarily mean they just came from hunting.  Guilty. 
  6. It's not pronounced LOUIS-VILLE, it's LEWA-VUL or Looo-vul.    Not Lewis-ville,  not Looie-ville, it's Lew-a-vul or (all one syllable) Looovul.  For God's sake people... GET IT RIGHT!
  7. You may have never taken a sip of it, but you know more facts about bourbon than most avid drinkers.  In Kentucky, there are more barrels of bourbon than there are people.  Also I'm a shamed Kentuckian.  I don't drink bourbon.  Gag.
  8. You still talk about the giant snowstorm of '94.  It was like the end of the world, y'all.  All stores were sold out of any milk, bread, or toilet paper for weeks. (Actually it was a couple of days...)  This is nothing compared to the Ice Storm of '09 though.  I wrote about it... here, here, and here
  9. Christian Laettner is the most hated player in the history of sports.  He's the devil.
  10. At least one of your relatives worked in the coal mines and you couldn't be more proud of him.  Nope.  I don't even know a single coal miner.
  11. You don't have to say sweet tea.  If you ask for tea, it's going to be sweet.  Who the hell drinks unsweet tea?!  Damn Yankees!!!
  12. If it's summer, you're going to be playing corn hole.  Again... nope.  I hate those two words together.  Corn + hole.  Just sounds like you are trying to politically correctly call someone an asshole.  Billy Bob is a real cornhole.  See?!
  13. You know that it's not a bunch of weeds, it's actually poke sallet.  Never heard of it. I know what a poke weed is and I guess that you can eat it.  No. Thank. You.  And what the hell is sallet?
  14. There's only one kind of potato chip:  BBQ Grippos.  Listen folks... my husband and I just discovered these a few months ago.  They are seriously the best BBQ chips ever made.  Find some immediately.
  15. The ingredients may vary, but burgoo is always delicious.  I had no idea what this was.  I had to Google it.
  16. You recognize the names of families mentioned on the show Justified.  I've... I've never watched a single episode. *hangs head in shame*
  17. You don't say what city you're from, you say what county.  Word.  We don't live in our "native" county and when people here ask me where I am from I always say, "I'm from Logan County!"
  18. You can't say from where, but if someone wants moonshine, you know a guy.  I do.
  19. When you were younger, someone took you snipe hunting.  Hell no.  Didn't fall for that one.
  20. If you had a restaurant, Jamal Mashburn or Kenny Walker could eat there for free whenever they wanted.  Again with the basketball...  C-A-T-S, Cats! Cats! Cats!
  21. You know someone who lives "down in the holler".  When my husband and I first started dating, he lived in a place called Hollow Bill.  Because back in the old days, Bill lived down in the holler and people would "holler" for him from the top of the ridge.  Probably to buy moonshine from him. So it was told that you just had to go and "holler Bill".
  22. Before 2001, Rick Pitino was a god.  Now... not so much.  Unless you live in Louisville.  Remember people... it's Looo-vul.
  23. You know that the Cincinnati airport isn't even in Ohio.  It's in Hebron, KY.  I did not know that. Probably because I've neither flown nor been to Cincinnati.
  24. Your mom didn't make dinner, she made supper.  And now I cook supper for my family.  
  25. Ale-8 is the greatest drink ever created.  I'm ashamed to say that while I HAVE heard of it, and seen it, I've never had one.  
And there you have it.  A little edjamacation (that's education for those not "from 'round here")  about this great state and a little about me too!  Honestly though, Kentucky is pretty awesome.  We have the longest cave system in the world!  You should come visit some time.

The Unofficial slogan of Kentucky!

No comments